PaP? what's Pap?

 

Some glider competitions are serious affairs. Ours isn't.

Once a month many of our good pilots get together to have a laugh and let their hair down. They fly identical purple gliders; gliders impossible to tell apart in the air. They use an ARF kit from an American manufacturer. The gliders are extraordinarily robust, agile and extremely efficient aircraft. And at $100 a kit, the laughter comes cheaply.

Take-off is simultaneous, the gliders climbing out vertically, wing-tip to wing-tip; an impressive sight, the line of gliders often stretching across the airfield.

Landings are also simultaneous, but whereas the take-offs are wing-tip to wing-tip, the landings are even more crowded. Each pilot is trying to land his aircraft exactly on the five minute call and exactly in the centre of the landing target. There's only the one landing target. As the timekeeper calls four minutes, thirty seconds, things get busy.

The gliders jostle and bustle one another, each pilot trying to set his craft up on the perfect landing approach. The antics the pilots get up to during this stage of flight are often hilarious. And extremely creative. Two gliders will team up and, using physical contact, try to herd a third glider out of the way. A comedy starts playing itself out. All the pilots are smiling to themselves or laughing aloud as the final phase of each heat unfolds.

In recent months, their landing techniques have evolved yet again. In an effort to hit the centre of the landing target, they're now diving their gliders vertically onto it. Perhaps that should be into it. If there hasn't been much rain during the month, the gliders just bounce off the target. If the ground is soft, the noses of the gliders lodge into the soil and remain there, the fuselages sticking vertically out of the mud until their pilots walk over to pluck them free.

Despite all the mid-air collisions, in the two years we've been holding the competition, not one aircraft has been damaged.

Excellent pilots, remarkable gliders.

We publish a monthly report on the competition for our club newsletter. Those reports have recently been included on our Website. You get to read them before our club members do.

The reports are compiled below.

May 2008

Report excerpt:

"The May 25th "Fling" day was a good day for all participants, 10 "Flingers" had a "Fling". The weather was warm and sunny, the sky cloudless and a deep winter blue in colour, We started at about 10:3Oam, wind from the S/E varying to South, it changed speed and direction several times, although not enough to warrant changing the take off pegs position. (thank goodness we never took off into the sun)"

Read the report »


October 2007

Report excerpt:

"An outside observer could be forgiven for thinking our competition pilots have Alzheimer's. It should all be pretty simple: there's a count-down-thing, you know, like, from ten to zero..."


September 2007

Report excerpt:

"Scott's always happy to push the boundaries of what we consider possible. For quite a while now, most of the pilots have been finishing their heats by diving vertically onto the centre of the landing target, albeit from a low altitude, but Scott's been experimenting with a variation of the theme and, bingo, it works for me."


August 2007

Report excerpt:

‘They won’t tell me what they’re doing,’ he says, all serious and frowning.

‘Who won’t?’

‘Them.’ He gestures with his chin to the other pilots.

‘What do you mean?’

‘How come they’re all getting higher launches than I am?’


July 2007

Report excerpt:

"Also in the starting line-up today and looking dashing in a dark blue Hermes shirt was Scott the Invincible. Scott's only bad flight was his first. His glider was back on the ground within 60 seconds. Like Dallas, another pilot not having an excellent morning was Russell the Beard. Russ was wearing the stub of a cigarette from the side of his mouth today. I think it's the same cigarette he was wearing in early January. I wonder if he takes it out when he goes to bed at night."


June 2007

Report excerpt:

"...notwithstanding the humourous slant, each pilot does everything possible to produce the perfect flight. The creativity and inventiveness displayed by individuals provides many enjoyable moments. I recall a pilot experimenting with a new spot-landing technique. He stood on the spot and flew his glider into his knee with nary a care. It fell to earth, we all knew where."


Scott trying to kill Russell.
Scott the Invincible dives his glider directly towards Russell the Beard's head. The math is simple. If Russell the Beard is lying unconscious on the ground, he can't possibly win the 3rd heat. Unfortunately for Scott, Russell ducked. Why not try this at home? Um... sorry, that should have been Don't try this at home.